But I Just Don't Like Her...

God's Words:

It is a sin to despise one’s neighbor, but blessed is the one who is kind to the needy.

 ~Proverbs 14:21

Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.  Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.  And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.

~Colossians 3:12-14

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.

~Galatians 5:22-23a

"Love your neighbor as yourself."

~Matthew 22:39b

"She's a nice person...  Other people seem to like her so I'm sure she must have plenty of friends.  And she's never said or done anything bad to me...ever.  I just don't...um, I just don't like her.  Honestly, she drives me crazy.  But, oh no, here she comes!  How can I look preoccupied so I won't have to talk to her?  Or, wait, even better...where is the nearest escape route?!?"

Have you ever experienced a similar thought process about someone you just don't like?  It's not at all that you feel hatred toward them or any emotion to that extreme.  And they may not have ever done anything bad to you to earn your disfavor.  You just simply do not like him or her.  You can't help the feeling of displeasure that comes over you while being around them.  They just annoy you.  Bother you.  Get on your nerves.  You see them heading your way and you immediately cringe inside.  And then you feel horribly guilty at the same time for feeling that way about them.

I think everyone knows a person they wish they didn't know.  At least one.  Come on, be honest here.  I bet there is someone that immediately popped into your mind when you started reading this post.  Someone who rubs you the wrong way and you really cannot seem to help how you feel about them.  

And what about when your child doesn't want to play with another child at school or in the neighborhood - for no particular reason other than he just doesn't like the other child?  How do we as parents guide our children to handle this kind of sticky social situation when we ourselves have people in our lives that we don't like and try to avoid?

Or worse yet...  Maybe it's you that feels disliked by someone and you can't, for the life of you, figure out why.  You're just being yourself and you're always kind and polite to them, but you get the feeling that they would rather be with anyone but you.  And that they even try to avoid you.  But you don't dare ask what's wrong because deep down you can guess why and it would kill you to know the real reason - that maybe they just don't like you.  Bad, bad feeling.   Why would someone not like me?  I'm a fun, compassionate, helpful person with a great sense of humor...or at least I think so, of course!

This is definitely a difficult subject.  One that I wasn't even sure I should write about.  Who wants to admit they don't like someone for no "good" reason?  Not me.  But at the same time, I've always wondered what the Bible says about whether we have to like people or not.  So I took it upon myself to find out and share with you what I learned, just in case you, too, struggle with not liking a person for no "good" reason.

How does God want us to deal with people we don't like?  I mean, Christians are supposed to love everyone, right?  Yes, of course, the Bible is filled with commands to love every person just as we love ourselves (for example, see Christ's words in Matthew 22:39b above).  Including our enemies and those who hate or mistreat us.  But I'm not referring to those meanies right now.  I've already written about how to deal with people like that in this post.

Today I'm strictly talking about the people who utterly annoy us, even though they most likely (and hopefully!) have no clue we see them that way.  They're really, truly just being themselves...their own irksome, aggravating, bothersome selves.  They probably can't help being the way they are, just like we can't help being the way we are.  But they grate on our nerves, regardless.  Our personalities merely do not "click".  What about them?  And how do we want people who don't necessarily like us to treat us?

I believe we most definitely need to learn how to handle this type of personality conflict in a way that pleases and glorifies God.  Of course we are called by God to love them.  We already know that's a given.  But I have asked myself many times in my life as I've come across people that bug me for whatever reason - do I have to like them?  Do I have to somehow force myself to find pleasure in their company?  When in all honesty, I simply cannot find much to like about them because I can't get over the way(s) they irritate me?  Sounds harsh, doesn't it?  I feel like a meanie just writing all of this!

There are so many different types of people out there, with so many dissimilar personalities, senses of humor, and quirks.  I think this vast array of diverseness wonderfully attests to God's glory in how He has created human beings - His most precious creation.  We are all made in His image, though so very different.  And that is a good thing, don't you agree?  Wouldn't the world be a dull, boring place if everyone was the same?

Yet sometimes the ways in which we are different can actually become sources of annoyance or dislike among us.  Not everyone has to be chummy, buddy-buddy with everyone else, right?  So although I do not conclude that it's necessarily sinful to not enjoy someone's company or to not desire to be their closest friend, I do believe that sin comes into play when we react in a bad way to the person we don't happen to like.

In the first key verse for this post, God's Word says it is a sin to despise someone.  Despise means to look down on with contempt or aversion, to regard as unworthy of one's notice or consideration; an emotional response ranging from strong dislike to loathing.  Wow, pretty strong words there.  The definition of despising someone sounds horrible, doesn't it?

So if I dislike someone so much that I feel as if I actually despise them, then that is wrong of me.  What I've found very helpful when facing people that get on my nerves is to make an effort (and sometimes it seems to take a huge amount of effort) to see them through the eyes of their Creator, who loves them so much that He gave up His own Son to die to save them (John 3:16), knows the exact number of hairs on their head (Luke 12:7), and watches over and cares for every little detail of their life (Psalm 139).  If God loves them that much, then the very least I can do is show them a loving respect and care.  Even though I might not revel in their company.  

And that is also why Jesus called us to love our neighbor as ourselves.  How do we want to be treated by people that might not exactly adore us?  With respect, kindness, compassion, gentleness, patience...even...love?  Yes, even love.  Hmmm, sound familiar?  Sounds a lot like the second and third key verses for this Bible study.  If we are in Christ, we have His Holy Spirit's power at work in and through us to be able to treat people - any and all people, regardless of how annoying they might be - in a loving way that is kind, respectful, patient, etc.  Just as we want to be treated by others.

God promises to give us what we stand in need of to literally bear with that irksome person in our lives and all their abrasive ways.  No, we don't have to delight in their personality, but we do have to treat them in a loving way, no matter what.  And the good news here, dear readers, is that if we ask for God's help in this, we just might find ourselves becoming less annoyed, less bothered, less aggravated.  The Spirit will help us see them through Jesus' eyes of unconditional love.  Maybe even to the point where we can't remember why we disliked them so much!  Is it even possible?

Give it a try!  Start praying today for God's help in finding the beauty and admirable qualities He sees in someone you don't like very much.  Then just wait and see what happens in your heart!  I can tell you from personal experience that it is possible and both you and that formerly-avoided person will be the better for it!  Believe it or not, you just might find a new friend...

In Christ,

Suzy

Forgive Like God Does

God's Words:

Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another.  Forgive as the Lord forgave you.

~Colossians 3:13

To forgive. One of the hardest things to do in life.  To willingly let go of the bitterness and resentment we feel towards someone who has hurt or offended us.

I think it's especially hard to forgive someone when they haven't even apologized (and probably never will). Or maybe they have, but you can still tell they aren't truly sorry for what they did.  Has this ever happened to you?

Or turning the tables a bit, what if it's you who has wronged someone and you are truly sorry so you apologize and ask for their forgiveness?  But although they might say they've accepted your apology and forgiven you, they definitely don't act like they've forgiven you.  You can tell that they are still holding what you did against you.

I don't know which situation is worse.  Having to forgive someone who doesn't seem to "deserve" it?  Or knowing you aren't truly forgiven by someone who is still holding a grudge?  Both situations feel pretty awful.

But let's dig a little deeper here.  What if you are the one who is holding onto bitterness or resentment by not forgiving someone (whether they've asked for it or not)?  In our key verse, Colossians 3:13, God says we are to bear with others (which means to be patient and control ourselves when provoked), forgiving whatever grievances (complaints; causes of distress) we have against them.  And that we are not only to forgive them, but to forgive them as God forgave us.  Whoa.  Now that's a tall order.  And what exactly does it mean?  How does God forgive us?  We need to know this if we are to be able to forgive as He forgives.  So let's just take a little look into God's Word to find out how He forgives.  And why.  And when.

First of all, let's start with the how - how does God forgive us?  It's not by anything we can do; it's a completely free gift of grace and mercy from a loving Father who wants us to be reconciled to Himself forever. 

This righteousness from God comes through faith in Jesus Christ to all who believe. There is no difference, for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus. ~Romans 3:22-24. 

We are forgiven by God the Father through the perfect sacrifice of His Son, Jesus Christ.  God forgives our sins because, in dying on the cross, Christ took away the punishment for sin that was ours and put it all on Himself. 

Next we come to the why question.  Why does He forgive us like this - so freely, so undeserved on our part?  Amazingly, He says He does so for His own sake.  Wow. 

“I, even I, am he who blots out your transgressions, for my own sake, and remembers your sins no more." ~Isaiah 43:25.

And also because He loves us so much, that's why!  This most famous verse puts it very simply: 

For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.  ~John 3:16 

Now we get to the final question on God's forgiveness.  When does He forgive us?  Well the how of forgiveness is already complete, once and for all - Jesus' death on the cross.  But before we are able to receive God's forgiveness through Christ's sacrifice for us, we must first acknowledge that we are sinners in need of a Savior and accept His sacrifice for our sins.  Only then are we forgiven by and reconciled to God the Father.  As it says in 1 John 1:9: 

If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. 

We are forgiven forever once we confess our sins to God and ask for His forgiveness to wipe out each and every sin (even future sins!) from our record, never to be held against us again.

And remember, God planned to give His perfect Son Jesus to die in our place before we ever realized we need to come to Him for salvation from our sins.  Actually, even way before we were ever born!  For His first promise of a Savior was right after Adam and Eve sinned in the Garden of Eden (see God's first prophecy of Christ in Genesis 3:15).

So Christ carried out His forgiving work on the cross before we were sorry for our sins.

But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.  ~ Romans 5:8

Now here is one more facet of God's forgiveness that never fails to completely blow my mind.  Did you know that He not only doesn't hold our sins against us when He forgives us, but He also forgets them forever?!  That the Almightly God, whose intelligence and ways are so far above ours, is actually able to forget our sins, never to remember them ever again.  As far as east is from west, and as deep as the ocean - that's how far He removes our sins from us.

The Lord is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in love.  He will not always accuse, nor will he harbor his anger forever; he does not treat us as our sins deserve or repay us according to our iniquities.  For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his love for those who fear him; as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us.  ~ Psalm 103:12

Do east and west ever meet?  No.  Once God has forgiven you of your sins, He will never remember them again.  They're blotted out, like you never did them (see Isaiah 43:25 above).  Again, wow.

But why is He willing to go the the extreme of forgetting our sins against Him?  Because He doesn't want to stay angry at our sins forever, but delights in showing mercy - so much so that it's as if He hurls our sins into the depths of the sea, never to be looked for or found ever again.  I'm telling you, this stuff is just mind-blowing!

Who is a God like you, who pardons sin and forgives the transgression of the remnant of his inheritance?  You do not stay angry forever but delight to show mercy.  You will again have compassion on us; you will tread our sins underfoot and hurl all our iniquities into the depths of the sea. ~ Micah 7:18-19 

So there you have it.  If that is how God forgave us, then that is 
how He calls us to forgive each other.  But we can't do this on our own strength.  It is impossible to truly forgive others as God forgave us without His Spirit's grace and power working in and through us.

It will take a supernatural, holy power at work in us to forgive someone who we feel might not really "deserve" it; someone who doesn't seem sorry for how they hurt us.  We didn't deserve for Christ to die in our place in order to bring about God's forgiveness.  So we also should forgive those who may be undeserving.  Not merely because they have "earned" it by apologizing or acting sorry.

We should also be willing to forgive those who've wronged us because it is just one more way to show Christ's love to them.  After all, He does call us to love others.

Love your neighbor as yourself.  ~Mark 12:31b

So just as God has forgiven us because of His love for us, so we should also forgive others out of love for them.

And now comes the hardest part!  In order to truly forgive someone as God forgave us, we have to actively strive to not hold anything against them.  As hard as it may be, we must allow the Holy Spirit to work in our hearts to let go of any feelings of hurt, resentment and bitterness.  Ugh.  I don't know about you, but this is where I really need God's supernatural help!  Once I forgive someone, I desperately need God's power at work in me to not keep bringing up the past offenses and hurts in my mind, or keep a record of wrongs against them. 

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.  ~ 1 Corinthians 13:4-5. 

Oh, if only we humans could really forget once we've forgiveness someone!  According to 1 Corinthians 13:5 (see above), when you love someone (as God calls us to do), you are not to keep a record of their wrongs.  You are not to hold anything bad they have ever done against them.  Argh.  That's so stinkin' hard!  How many times have you forgiven someone, only to still hold onto the memories of how they've hurt you in the past?  So because of those memories, it's harder to trust and have anything to do with that person again.

Yet - and here's the amazing hope in all this, my dear friends - because of the grace and power of the Holy Spirit at work in and through us, we are enabled to show others the forgiveness that God has given to us.  No, we cannot do it perfectly like He does.  No, we can't really ever forget how they've hurt us.  But we can ask the Lord to remove the remaining burdens of bitterness and painful memories that are still trying to cling to us.  So that we can move on in our relationship with them, working to not hold grudges and give them (and ourselves) a chance to start fresh.  We can still show unconditional love to them, in spite of what they've ever done to us.  With God as our Help and Strength we can do the "impossible" and forgive as God forgives us!

In Christ,

Suzy

Why the Golden Rule is Hard to Obey

"Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you."  "Do to others as you would have them do to you."

~Luke 6:27b, 28, 31 

 God's Words to Read:  Luke 6:27-38
  

I remember first learning about "The Golden Rule" as a very little girl.  And throughout my childhood, it was a common thing to hear parents and teachers reminding children of the importance of treating others as one would want to be treated.  It is a very helpful parenting tool that I use often with my own children as I continuously seek to train them in the right way to deal with others.  But the golden rule is not just good for children to obey; it's just as vital for "grown-ups" to follow, too! 

This moral "rule" originates from a command Jesus gave, found in two of the four gospels, one of which is today's Scripture to read and also in Matthew 7:12.  If you read this passage in its entire context, you'll see that Jesus explains exactly what He means by commanding this and why we should obey it.

Something very important I've learned about God through years of studying His Word is that He never makes a requirement of us that is not in our best interest and for our own good.  Each of His commands is for our own personal well-being, health and safety.  But this command is very special in how it is designed to bless more than just those who obey it.  If we do our best to follow this "rule" in our lives, we will bless everyone we have contact with!

Just think about it for a minute...  If everyone in the history of the world always treated others as they would want to be treated, our world history would sure be a whole lot different!  There would be no wars, no divided nations.  No hatred, theft, or murder.  There would be no family dysfunction, abuse, divorce, or sibling rivalry.  No broken friendships, no bullies.  No jealousy, hurt or bitter feelings.  And there would be no need to forgive others, for we'd have nothing to forgive in the first place!  It just blows my mind to think of how different the world could be if every single person made more of an effort to follow the golden rule.

Ironically, this very simple command is the recipe for peace and love in the world, yet is something so very difficult for most people to obey.  Why?  Because it is a two-fold command; not only are we to treat others as we would want to be treated, but we are also to treat others in a kind, loving, and respectful way even if we don't feel like it and regardless of how others treat us! 

I mean, we are all human and our selfishness, self-centeredness, pride and other less-attractive human traits always seems to get in the way, don't they?  I don't know about you, but I find it extremely challenging to "be nice" to someone who has "not been nice" to me.  Or to be respectful and thoughtful to someone who has treated me in the opposite way.  Or, for goodness's sake, when I'm supposed to show care and love for a person that is often (putting it very frankly) UNLOVABLE!

But Jesus commanded us to love our enemies, do good to those who hate us, bless (which means to invoke divine care for; to speak well of; to confer prosperity or happiness upon) those who curse us, and even pray for those who mistreat us.  He wants us to give and lend to everyone freely, without ever expecting to get what we gave back or to receive anything in return.  He also commanded us to forgive others and be merciful to them, even if they don't "deserve it", just as He forgives and is merciful to those who don't deserve it.  It struck me like never before when I read verses 35 and 36 of Luke 6 - that God treats the ungrateful and wicked with kindness and mercy (also see Matthew 5:43-45).  Jesus said that as God's children, we must do as our Heavenly Father does by treating everyone with unconditional love, goodness, kindness, mercy, and forgiveness...whether we think they are deserving of such treatment or not.

Wow, that's a tall order.  How can we even begin to obey it, when there are all kinds of mean, rude, selfish, greedy, evil, and downright unlovable people in the world?!  Well, the bad news is that we will often be treated badly by others. That's just life in this sinful, fallen world.  This is especially true if we are believers.  Jesus warned us we would be persecuted by unbelievers because of Him (John 15:18-25).  And yet, once again, He wants us to bless and pray for those who persecute us (Matthew 5:44 and Romans 12:14).

But the good news is that we have a Helper who will fill us with His power and love so that we are capable of treating others as He wants us to treat them, no matter how they treat us.  One of my favorite Scripture passages tells just how this all works:  Galatians 5:22-25- "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.  Against such things there is no law.  Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the sinful nature with its passions and desires.  Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit."  So if we are filled with the Holy Spirit, which all true believers are, we have His supernatural power always in us, at our disposal, to act in a loving, joyful, peaceful, patient, kind, good, faithful, gentle and self-controlled way.  Wow again!!  God enables us through His Spirit in us to treat others in a right way- even our enemies and those people that drive us crazy!

If you are looking for a perfect example of Someone who treated others in a loving, kind way, look no further than Jesus Himself.  He was treated horribly by so many His whole 33 years on earth, yet never, not even once, did He lash back at anyone in a sinful way.  Yes, He stood up for what was right and wouldn't mince words in telling people what they were doing wrong and how and why they needed to change their lives.  But in standing up for the truth of God and His Word, He never, ever sinned.  Not once.  Read the gospels (Matthew, Mark, Luke and John) to see exactly how He treated others, no matter how they treated Him.

Are you struggling with loving someone who is "unlovable"?  How about your children?  Are there mean bullies at school or in the neighborhood who make them miserable?  Or maybe they bicker and fight at home with their siblings?  As hard as it may be, you can be an effective role model to your children to show them how God wants us to treat others, especially those who might be considered "enemies".  Teach them by your own example how to be loving, kind, merciful, forgiving and freely giving to others.  As you deal with people in your daily life, talk openly with your children of how you often struggle with showing Christ's love to some people, but that you are able to do so with His power working in and through you.

What are some other ways to teach your children about "the Golden Rule"? 

• Talk to and remind them often about how Jesus commanded us to treat others.

• Read together Bible passages in which Jesus commands us to love others and treat them the right way and the Bible stories of when He and His people showed love to others.  Read true stories about believers who lived after the Bible times whose lives God worked through to show His love to a hurting, lost world.  There are plenty of true stories like this in our modern time, too!

• Find godly character development books and resources to go through with your children.  Many have application lessons and activities in which you and your children can discuss and "practice" showing godly, loving behavior in tough, real-life situations.  A wonderful book I'm using in our homeschool right now is Daily Character Education Activities by Becky Daniel-White.  There are 2 books available for different age levels:  one is designed for 2nd and 3rd grades and the other for 4th and 5th grades.

• If there is a bully in their life, pray with them specifically for that difficult child - and not just for God to help that child change and find salvation and healing, but also that God would help your child to show love and forgiveness to him/her.  There is just something amazing about the power of prayer in how God uses it to change and soften our hearts to please Him.  Let me tell you, I have much experience in forcing myself (yes, for me it's definitely a forced thing!) to pray for my "enemies".  I have learned that it's pretty hard to hold onto resentment, anger and an unforgiving heart when you pray consistently and specifically for someone who's been unloving to you.

• Remind your children (and yourself, for that matter!) that most often a bully is a bully for a reason.  Maybe he/she is abused at home or comes from an unloving or dysfunctional family.  Maybe he/she has very low self-esteem or a problem they secretly struggle with and are trying to hide it with their mean exterior.  Seeing the bully in this light will help your child (and you) have more compassion and understanding for him/her.

• Tell them about times in your own life that you have had to deal with hard-to-love people, including instances of when you acted the right way and the wrong way towards such people.  My children's ears really perk up when I talk about a true story that happened to me!  I think having an adult they love and trust tell them about a life lesson they learned is a very effective way to make things really hit home for them.

• Teach them (and once again remind yourself) that obeying the golden rule is a powerful way to share the good news of Christ with those who are lost.  Is there a more effective way to show others the transforming change Christ has made in our hearts than by loving and treating them the way we want to be treated-no matter how unkind, disrespectful, unloving, and just plain rude others might be to us?!  And maybe it's not having an impact on the bully, but I bet other kids in class (and the teachers!) are watching how your child treats that bully.  People know we are Christians by how we act - what we do and what we say.  Countless people through the ages have come to believe in the truth and saving power of Christ, simply through a believer in their life treating them or another with love, especially if that love was undeserved!

I pray for each of you, and myself, and our children to depend on God's power and love at work in our hearts to enable us to show Christ's unconditional love to a hurting, mean, evil, lost world-that many may be drawn to Him and His salvation through how we treat them.

In Christ,

Suzy

A Devotional Blog for Mothers

Hi, my name is Suzy and I am very excited about my first blog!  According to the calendar, I am turning 34 on November 7, although I still feel 28 (wonder how much longer that will last??).  So to celebrate my birthday this year, I decided to finally get a start on one of my life goals, which is to write a devotional for mothers.  I want this devotional blog to be a place where all mothers - from new mothers to GRANDmothers - can find encouragement and be built up through God's Word to carry out the mothering roles and duties God has called them to.  This includes step-mothers, "working moms", "stay-at-home moms", homeschooling moms, empty nester moms, and really anyone with a mothering role!

In this first post, I would like to take the extra time to introduce the theme of my blog.  Hopefully, my future posts won't be as long and time-consuming to read!  I really aim to keep them short and readable in less than 10 minutes; especially since we mothers have so little time in our day to sit down, let alone read a super-long devotional!  In each post I will share a Bible passage that you can look up in your own Bible, followed by whatever thoughts and message I feel God showing me personally in that passage.  I encourage you to write down in a journal what you feel God is showing you as you read His Word.  And always feel free to share with me these thoughts in the Comments section below!  I would love to read what God shows you through the same passages we explore together!  My hope and prayer is that here you will find pleasant words to uplift and bless you, so that in turn, you may be better equipped to uplift and bless others.

As mothers, we have the extremely important responsibility of training our children, step-children and grandchildren in doing what is right.  We can be much more effective in this endeavor if we speak to them with pleasant words, as opposed to unpleasant words (yelling, complaining, harsh criticisms, etc.).  It is a well-known fact that people respond better, even while being criticized or reprimanded, if they are spoken to in a positive, respectful, loving way.  Therefore, I have named my blog "Pleasant Words" after Proverbs 16:21, a verse that God has used to speak to me many, many times in the past few years.  To better instruct my children, God wants me to use pleasant words.  Not only when I am instructing them in how to do something, such as baking cookies or making their beds, but also in teaching them moral lessons.  I have made this verse my homeschool motto.  I have it written in green pen (to match my green window coverings, of course!) on a 3x5 card, taped to the side of the cupboard in front of my kitchen sink (where I spend countless minutes a day), so that it will be a frequent reminder of how God wants me to talk.

But why has God put this verse so heavily on my heart, you may ask?  Well, everyone has good and bad personality qualities, right?  Unfortunately, one of my worst qualities, against which I struggle daily, is that I often say whatever is on my mind at the time.  I speak before I think.  I stick my foot in my mouth frequently.  I complain out loud a lot.  I can have a sharp tongue when someone upsets me, annoys me, or if I just happen to be in a bad mood.  Maybe you struggle with an impulsive tongue, too.

Since committing my life to Christ at the age of 19, the Holy Spirit has been working a great deal on this part of my personality, shaping me to be more like Him.  God's best for us is not to let us stay bogged down by our sin nature.  He wants us to seek Him for grace and strength to overcome our weaknesses.  Just because my natural tendency is to speak impulsively, this does not give me an excuse for that behavior.  Only I can control what comes out of my mouth!  As James 3:10 says, "Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing.  My brothers (and sisters!), this should not be."  God wants only positive, kind, loving, respectful, edifying, encouraging words to come out of our mouths.  Words of praise for Him and for others.  Words of thankfulness, not complaining and grumbling.  Words to build others up, not tear them down.

Have you ever read the book The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman?  It's a life-changing book which I highly recommend.  One of the main 5 love languages is that of Words of Affirmation.   We can effectively and positively impact others in our lives by showing love in how we speak to them.  Christ commanded us to love others as we love ourselves (Matthew 22:39).  How do we like to be spoken to?  With put-downs and jabs and complaints?  Or with words that make us feel loved, respected and accepted for who we are?  We can shine our light in a dark world, showing Christ's love to everyone we have contact with, simply by speaking loving words.  Oh, it's so powerful!  So simple!  Yet, it can be so hard!!!

How many times in your life has your mood and attitude been brought down by someone else's bad attitude or mood?  I read once that the wife and/or mother sets the mood for the rest of the family.  Whenever I'm in a good mood, it rubs off on everyone else.  And when I'm in a bad mood, complaining and letting my sharp, impulsive tongue get out of control, then everyone's mood goes downhill and fast!  We mothers need to daily remind ourselves to set a good mood for the rest of our family.  So for today, read James 3:1-12.  Pray that God will open your heart to how He wants you to control your tongue in order to bless others and be blessed.  Then, by His grace and strength, you can be a woman who speaks pleasant words.

In Christ,

Suzy