Why the Golden Rule is Hard to Obey

"Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you."  "Do to others as you would have them do to you."

~Luke 6:27b, 28, 31 

 God's Words to Read:  Luke 6:27-38
  

I remember first learning about "The Golden Rule" as a very little girl.  And throughout my childhood, it was a common thing to hear parents and teachers reminding children of the importance of treating others as one would want to be treated.  It is a very helpful parenting tool that I use often with my own children as I continuously seek to train them in the right way to deal with others.  But the golden rule is not just good for children to obey; it's just as vital for "grown-ups" to follow, too! 

This moral "rule" originates from a command Jesus gave, found in two of the four gospels, one of which is today's Scripture to read and also in Matthew 7:12.  If you read this passage in its entire context, you'll see that Jesus explains exactly what He means by commanding this and why we should obey it.

Something very important I've learned about God through years of studying His Word is that He never makes a requirement of us that is not in our best interest and for our own good.  Each of His commands is for our own personal well-being, health and safety.  But this command is very special in how it is designed to bless more than just those who obey it.  If we do our best to follow this "rule" in our lives, we will bless everyone we have contact with!

Just think about it for a minute...  If everyone in the history of the world always treated others as they would want to be treated, our world history would sure be a whole lot different!  There would be no wars, no divided nations.  No hatred, theft, or murder.  There would be no family dysfunction, abuse, divorce, or sibling rivalry.  No broken friendships, no bullies.  No jealousy, hurt or bitter feelings.  And there would be no need to forgive others, for we'd have nothing to forgive in the first place!  It just blows my mind to think of how different the world could be if every single person made more of an effort to follow the golden rule.

Ironically, this very simple command is the recipe for peace and love in the world, yet is something so very difficult for most people to obey.  Why?  Because it is a two-fold command; not only are we to treat others as we would want to be treated, but we are also to treat others in a kind, loving, and respectful way even if we don't feel like it and regardless of how others treat us! 

I mean, we are all human and our selfishness, self-centeredness, pride and other less-attractive human traits always seems to get in the way, don't they?  I don't know about you, but I find it extremely challenging to "be nice" to someone who has "not been nice" to me.  Or to be respectful and thoughtful to someone who has treated me in the opposite way.  Or, for goodness's sake, when I'm supposed to show care and love for a person that is often (putting it very frankly) UNLOVABLE!

But Jesus commanded us to love our enemies, do good to those who hate us, bless (which means to invoke divine care for; to speak well of; to confer prosperity or happiness upon) those who curse us, and even pray for those who mistreat us.  He wants us to give and lend to everyone freely, without ever expecting to get what we gave back or to receive anything in return.  He also commanded us to forgive others and be merciful to them, even if they don't "deserve it", just as He forgives and is merciful to those who don't deserve it.  It struck me like never before when I read verses 35 and 36 of Luke 6 - that God treats the ungrateful and wicked with kindness and mercy (also see Matthew 5:43-45).  Jesus said that as God's children, we must do as our Heavenly Father does by treating everyone with unconditional love, goodness, kindness, mercy, and forgiveness...whether we think they are deserving of such treatment or not.

Wow, that's a tall order.  How can we even begin to obey it, when there are all kinds of mean, rude, selfish, greedy, evil, and downright unlovable people in the world?!  Well, the bad news is that we will often be treated badly by others. That's just life in this sinful, fallen world.  This is especially true if we are believers.  Jesus warned us we would be persecuted by unbelievers because of Him (John 15:18-25).  And yet, once again, He wants us to bless and pray for those who persecute us (Matthew 5:44 and Romans 12:14).

But the good news is that we have a Helper who will fill us with His power and love so that we are capable of treating others as He wants us to treat them, no matter how they treat us.  One of my favorite Scripture passages tells just how this all works:  Galatians 5:22-25- "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.  Against such things there is no law.  Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the sinful nature with its passions and desires.  Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit."  So if we are filled with the Holy Spirit, which all true believers are, we have His supernatural power always in us, at our disposal, to act in a loving, joyful, peaceful, patient, kind, good, faithful, gentle and self-controlled way.  Wow again!!  God enables us through His Spirit in us to treat others in a right way- even our enemies and those people that drive us crazy!

If you are looking for a perfect example of Someone who treated others in a loving, kind way, look no further than Jesus Himself.  He was treated horribly by so many His whole 33 years on earth, yet never, not even once, did He lash back at anyone in a sinful way.  Yes, He stood up for what was right and wouldn't mince words in telling people what they were doing wrong and how and why they needed to change their lives.  But in standing up for the truth of God and His Word, He never, ever sinned.  Not once.  Read the gospels (Matthew, Mark, Luke and John) to see exactly how He treated others, no matter how they treated Him.

Are you struggling with loving someone who is "unlovable"?  How about your children?  Are there mean bullies at school or in the neighborhood who make them miserable?  Or maybe they bicker and fight at home with their siblings?  As hard as it may be, you can be an effective role model to your children to show them how God wants us to treat others, especially those who might be considered "enemies".  Teach them by your own example how to be loving, kind, merciful, forgiving and freely giving to others.  As you deal with people in your daily life, talk openly with your children of how you often struggle with showing Christ's love to some people, but that you are able to do so with His power working in and through you.

What are some other ways to teach your children about "the Golden Rule"? 

• Talk to and remind them often about how Jesus commanded us to treat others.

• Read together Bible passages in which Jesus commands us to love others and treat them the right way and the Bible stories of when He and His people showed love to others.  Read true stories about believers who lived after the Bible times whose lives God worked through to show His love to a hurting, lost world.  There are plenty of true stories like this in our modern time, too!

• Find godly character development books and resources to go through with your children.  Many have application lessons and activities in which you and your children can discuss and "practice" showing godly, loving behavior in tough, real-life situations.  A wonderful book I'm using in our homeschool right now is Daily Character Education Activities by Becky Daniel-White.  There are 2 books available for different age levels:  one is designed for 2nd and 3rd grades and the other for 4th and 5th grades.

• If there is a bully in their life, pray with them specifically for that difficult child - and not just for God to help that child change and find salvation and healing, but also that God would help your child to show love and forgiveness to him/her.  There is just something amazing about the power of prayer in how God uses it to change and soften our hearts to please Him.  Let me tell you, I have much experience in forcing myself (yes, for me it's definitely a forced thing!) to pray for my "enemies".  I have learned that it's pretty hard to hold onto resentment, anger and an unforgiving heart when you pray consistently and specifically for someone who's been unloving to you.

• Remind your children (and yourself, for that matter!) that most often a bully is a bully for a reason.  Maybe he/she is abused at home or comes from an unloving or dysfunctional family.  Maybe he/she has very low self-esteem or a problem they secretly struggle with and are trying to hide it with their mean exterior.  Seeing the bully in this light will help your child (and you) have more compassion and understanding for him/her.

• Tell them about times in your own life that you have had to deal with hard-to-love people, including instances of when you acted the right way and the wrong way towards such people.  My children's ears really perk up when I talk about a true story that happened to me!  I think having an adult they love and trust tell them about a life lesson they learned is a very effective way to make things really hit home for them.

• Teach them (and once again remind yourself) that obeying the golden rule is a powerful way to share the good news of Christ with those who are lost.  Is there a more effective way to show others the transforming change Christ has made in our hearts than by loving and treating them the way we want to be treated-no matter how unkind, disrespectful, unloving, and just plain rude others might be to us?!  And maybe it's not having an impact on the bully, but I bet other kids in class (and the teachers!) are watching how your child treats that bully.  People know we are Christians by how we act - what we do and what we say.  Countless people through the ages have come to believe in the truth and saving power of Christ, simply through a believer in their life treating them or another with love, especially if that love was undeserved!

I pray for each of you, and myself, and our children to depend on God's power and love at work in our hearts to enable us to show Christ's unconditional love to a hurting, mean, evil, lost world-that many may be drawn to Him and His salvation through how we treat them.

In Christ,

Suzy

A Devotional Blog for Mothers

Hi, my name is Suzy and I am very excited about my first blog!  According to the calendar, I am turning 34 on November 7, although I still feel 28 (wonder how much longer that will last??).  So to celebrate my birthday this year, I decided to finally get a start on one of my life goals, which is to write a devotional for mothers.  I want this devotional blog to be a place where all mothers - from new mothers to GRANDmothers - can find encouragement and be built up through God's Word to carry out the mothering roles and duties God has called them to.  This includes step-mothers, "working moms", "stay-at-home moms", homeschooling moms, empty nester moms, and really anyone with a mothering role!

In this first post, I would like to take the extra time to introduce the theme of my blog.  Hopefully, my future posts won't be as long and time-consuming to read!  I really aim to keep them short and readable in less than 10 minutes; especially since we mothers have so little time in our day to sit down, let alone read a super-long devotional!  In each post I will share a Bible passage that you can look up in your own Bible, followed by whatever thoughts and message I feel God showing me personally in that passage.  I encourage you to write down in a journal what you feel God is showing you as you read His Word.  And always feel free to share with me these thoughts in the Comments section below!  I would love to read what God shows you through the same passages we explore together!  My hope and prayer is that here you will find pleasant words to uplift and bless you, so that in turn, you may be better equipped to uplift and bless others.

As mothers, we have the extremely important responsibility of training our children, step-children and grandchildren in doing what is right.  We can be much more effective in this endeavor if we speak to them with pleasant words, as opposed to unpleasant words (yelling, complaining, harsh criticisms, etc.).  It is a well-known fact that people respond better, even while being criticized or reprimanded, if they are spoken to in a positive, respectful, loving way.  Therefore, I have named my blog "Pleasant Words" after Proverbs 16:21, a verse that God has used to speak to me many, many times in the past few years.  To better instruct my children, God wants me to use pleasant words.  Not only when I am instructing them in how to do something, such as baking cookies or making their beds, but also in teaching them moral lessons.  I have made this verse my homeschool motto.  I have it written in green pen (to match my green window coverings, of course!) on a 3x5 card, taped to the side of the cupboard in front of my kitchen sink (where I spend countless minutes a day), so that it will be a frequent reminder of how God wants me to talk.

But why has God put this verse so heavily on my heart, you may ask?  Well, everyone has good and bad personality qualities, right?  Unfortunately, one of my worst qualities, against which I struggle daily, is that I often say whatever is on my mind at the time.  I speak before I think.  I stick my foot in my mouth frequently.  I complain out loud a lot.  I can have a sharp tongue when someone upsets me, annoys me, or if I just happen to be in a bad mood.  Maybe you struggle with an impulsive tongue, too.

Since committing my life to Christ at the age of 19, the Holy Spirit has been working a great deal on this part of my personality, shaping me to be more like Him.  God's best for us is not to let us stay bogged down by our sin nature.  He wants us to seek Him for grace and strength to overcome our weaknesses.  Just because my natural tendency is to speak impulsively, this does not give me an excuse for that behavior.  Only I can control what comes out of my mouth!  As James 3:10 says, "Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing.  My brothers (and sisters!), this should not be."  God wants only positive, kind, loving, respectful, edifying, encouraging words to come out of our mouths.  Words of praise for Him and for others.  Words of thankfulness, not complaining and grumbling.  Words to build others up, not tear them down.

Have you ever read the book The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman?  It's a life-changing book which I highly recommend.  One of the main 5 love languages is that of Words of Affirmation.   We can effectively and positively impact others in our lives by showing love in how we speak to them.  Christ commanded us to love others as we love ourselves (Matthew 22:39).  How do we like to be spoken to?  With put-downs and jabs and complaints?  Or with words that make us feel loved, respected and accepted for who we are?  We can shine our light in a dark world, showing Christ's love to everyone we have contact with, simply by speaking loving words.  Oh, it's so powerful!  So simple!  Yet, it can be so hard!!!

How many times in your life has your mood and attitude been brought down by someone else's bad attitude or mood?  I read once that the wife and/or mother sets the mood for the rest of the family.  Whenever I'm in a good mood, it rubs off on everyone else.  And when I'm in a bad mood, complaining and letting my sharp, impulsive tongue get out of control, then everyone's mood goes downhill and fast!  We mothers need to daily remind ourselves to set a good mood for the rest of our family.  So for today, read James 3:1-12.  Pray that God will open your heart to how He wants you to control your tongue in order to bless others and be blessed.  Then, by His grace and strength, you can be a woman who speaks pleasant words.

In Christ,

Suzy